Tag: poetry

Solitary Refinement Chapter 2


Dear Josh        June 30 2017

Hey man, are you doing okay? I’ve been thinking about you and the other guys, I miss movie night and beer and pizza. I really appreciate you writing to me the other day, it was so nice to get mail. Everyday I hope for some but it usually doesn’t happen. To answer your question, no the food isn’t too bad and yes it is scary in here. I’m kind of freaked out that somebody is going to hurt me if I look at them the wrong way, I’m trying to stay quiet and lay low.

Liz and the kids haven’t written to me or visited, not even on Father’s Day, nothing not a peep in any way shape or form. Are they okay? Have you heard anything from them? I suspect that her parents and mine will help her financially in any way she needs but I’m still worried about them. It’s my job to worry, it’s about all I can still do from here.

It was so weird getting here. Being told I’m doing time for armed robbery. Minimum sentence, first time offender and all but still five years is a really long time. My son will be ten years old when I get out. Ten! My daughter will be eight, I’m going to miss so much. I’m going to miss teaching them to ride a bike, and their first home runs.

Can you check up on my family every now and again for me? I’d really appreciate it. They shouldn’t get into any trouble, I never talked about that guy I thought was my boss (the name I have is likely fake anyways).

When they walked me to my cell for the first time they had a guard walking next to me on either side. Is that normal? You know me, I’m like one hundred and fifty pounds when I’m wearing my steel toe work boots. Yet here they had two big bulky guards for one of me for our short walk together. Last door on the left of the range.

They call the hallways that have all the cells ranges.

Range: like pasture for cattle, all us morons being corralled into cages like the dumb beasts we are. Herded to our identical little rooms with our identical uniforms and our similarly terrible bad decisions.

Range: like a shooting range for fish in a barrel.

In my barrel with me is a guy named Kal. He’s a lot bigger than me, that’s the first thing I noticed about him. He was doing pushups when I got into the cell. The second thing I noticed was his glasses, I’ve never seen glasses like that before. The lenses were perfect circles only the size of quarters and the black frames were curled like the head of a fiddle on the outer side of the lenses and then only held the lenses on the bottom half of them. If he hadn’t been doing pushups when I entered I would definitely have noticed that first, it was off putting seeing this big muscular man with these small quirky glasses. If you had described those glasses to me and then asked me to describe the kind of man I’d expect to be behind them I’d have said some skinny nerdy guy with his nose buried in a comic book and badly groomed facial hair. Not this huge clean shaven guy with a crew cut and veins in his biceps thick as twizzlers. He didn’t say anything to me, he just looked at me and gave a smile. A smile too big and held for too long.

He scares me.

Slave

You said you were a stranger
But you said it so friendly that I didn’t quite believe yiu at first
You offered me a bottle
 When You noticed I was panting
and clearly dieing of thirst

I eyed it with suspicion
That’s when you spoke unto me
“ it’s a long way I’ve marched
thirst has no respect for drought
The good stuffs on the inside
So drink it down if you are parched

I  took a deep draft
Like a fool
Really daft
And I’m pretty sure I’m suffering now

Went down sweeter than love
Then tremors gripped me like a glove

“Take my money take my money
make this all stop”
 
With a deep deep laugh you Chuckled and spat “ not your money but your life!  Your blood your soul your heart, that’s what I wanted from the start”

I want everything, everything that makes you you.
Eviscerated violated and then taken to the grave
That’s what I want,  I want a slave

I wake up panting
And you stepped back into the mirror
Took a deep bow and pat yourself on the back sayin

“ if this isn’t want you wanted
Well then you won’t be haunted
But if I’m honest I think that you will be.

Yiu never once said no never once said go,
You’re conviction ain’t convincing
You were far from resistant.
Maybe next time arm yourself against all your favourite tastes and smells
Or you’ll find yourself on tour in deepest depths of hell

Bad weather

The weather man gives me the finger
Says it’s gonna be a long one
Snow falls like a feather weight
To beat me to the punch

It cuts the chord
So the line stays quiet
So I simply shout
Sorry darling but I’m stuck out here

Creeping white
Scale the windows slowly
No power now
Frost outside and in

I can see my breath
Shaped like your name
I hope you find it
Because it’s my last.

Terrorist

Darling I have some news
It just might give you the blues
I’ll try to give you the jist
Honey, I think you’re a terrorist

Its true you were kind
When you conquered my mind
But I hadn’t really a choice
Nor an audible voice

You brandished your sword
When you crossed the fjord
To a land I called my own
Now the villagers gone… flown

You slaughtered the king
With your feminine sting
Your body with it’s rise and fall
And your grand tales so tall

Your ideas filled me
At quite a steep fee
You took my heart,  called it yours
Changed the locks behind the doors

Since you came to join
There’s a new face on the coin
The cloth’s up the pole drag
With your likeness on the flag

Then a thing so strange
For you to arrange
After tasting my power
Like smelling a flower

Your new regime extinguished
Tyrants grip relinquished
When I asked you why
You winked with one eye

Your response such madness
Painted over with gladness
“ I had to wear this gown
I had to cut you down

It was all underneath
I am not a thief
Don’t you see, it’s fake?!
Your crown, I didn’t take

You smelled like petrichor
And I wanted something more
I strangled what was dead
All the old skin you shed

What was underneath
The thing in the sheath
A strength so sure
A goodness so pure

We never really fought
Your distress all for naught
I could never steal
What you offered with zeal

You offered your crown
Without even  a frown
I felt so inept
I couldn’t accept

If more kings were like you
But alas, there are so few
The kind that ought to rule
A good man, not a fool

You make love a verb
Not forgotten at the curb
Made me feel uplifted
Rather than re-gifted

I want to give myself
Don’t put me on the shelf
Love me with your power
Don’t lock me in a tower”

Isn’t this convoluted
A few points to be disputed
I’m certain I’m not good
Love me? Not sure you should

When you cut me down to size
It helped me realize
That there is plenty in store
I could be so much more

Just one answer I demand
Something I don’t understand
Why this is what you wanted
A man that is haunted