Solitary Refinement Chapter 3

Dearest Elizabeth July 3rd 2017

So it’s been a few weeks since I wrote you last. I know the postal service is kind of lousy but I don’t think that’s why I haven’t gotten a response from you. I know you’re mad at me.

If it’s half as mad as I am at myself than I understand if you don’t want to talk to me for a while.

I get it. This sucks and I put us here. I really need you to understand though that it’s not my fault. I was lied to, I thought I’d found a new job to provide for everybody the way I always tried my best to do. I honestly just thought we were running a quick personal errand for my new boss on the way to our job site.

Stupid I know but you know me. It does sound like me doesn’t it? I’m not lying, I swore on the stand and I swear now. Please don’t believe whatever they made it sound like, and whatever people might be saying on the outside now. I know you love me but right now I really need you to trust me. It would make a big difference to me if I knew you were supportive in this, just to know somebody believes me, that I’m not alone in this.

How are the kids? God I miss them. Even when they exhausted me it was just the best thing to make them smile and laugh, what I wouldn’t give to hear Nina’s little giggle and Alister’s cacophonous guffaw. Do you read him his bedtime stories now? Do you remember when I’d be reading to him and after two books he’d keep asking for more and you’d say, “Daddy’s tired, go to sleep.”

I don’t think I ever told you before that I wanted to keep reading too.

Nina, do you play with her dolls with her now? She always had fun playing tea time with me and her dolls. She thought I put real tea in the little cups but it was just water with food dye. If you start doing it with her and I hope you do it’s one drop of red and two drops of yellow.

What have you told them about where I am? Does Alister think I’m a bad guy now?

I just hope everybody is happy. I’m remembering the little things I did for you guys and I’m wondering if anybody is missing those little things.

I have a cellmate by the way, his name is Kal. He’s really strong. I remember when you’d bug me to go to the gym to workout because you wanted a big muscular hubby to show off to your friends. I never went because I didn’t want to have it take away time I could be spending with the kids, or working overtime for extra money. Kal reminded me of that, he’s huge. He was intimidating at first but so were a lot of people, I’ll get used to it I guess. I hope.

Please visit soon. I guess you maybe need some time and space, I won’t write you for a little while to give you that.

Sincerely,

Your Husband

Solitary Refinement Chapter 2

Dear Josh June 30 2017

Hey man, are you doing okay? I’ve been thinking about you and the other guys, I miss movie night and beer and pizza. I really appreciate you writing to me the other day, it was so nice to get mail. Everyday I hope for some but it usually doesn’t happen. To answer your question, no the food isn’t too bad and yes it is scary in here. I’m kind of freaked out that somebody is going to hurt me if I look at them the wrong way, I’m trying to stay quiet and lay low.

Liz and the kids haven’t written to me or visited, not even on Father’s Day, nothing not a peep in any way shape or form. Are they okay? Have you heard anything from them? I suspect that her parents and mine will help her financially in any way she needs but I’m still worried about them. It’s my job to worry, it’s about all I can still do from here.

It was so weird getting here. Being told I’m doing time for armed robbery. Minimum sentence, first time offender and all but still five years is a really long time. My son will be ten years old when I get out. Ten! My daughter will be eight, I’m going to miss so much. I’m going to miss teaching them to ride a bike, and their first home runs.

Can you check up on my family every now and again for me? I’d really appreciate it. They shouldn’t get into any trouble, I never talked about that guy I thought was my boss (the name I have is likely fake anyways).

When they walked me to my cell for the first time they had a guard walking next to me on either side. Is that normal? You know me, I’m like one hundred and fifty pounds when I’m wearing my steel toe work boots. Yet here they had two big bulky guards for one of me for our short walk together. Last door on the left of the range.

They call the hallways that have all the cells ranges.

Range: like pasture for cattle, all us morons being corralled into cages like the dumb beasts we are. Herded to our identical little rooms with our identical uniforms and our similarly terrible bad decisions.

Range: like a shooting range for fish in a barrel.

In my barrel with me is a guy named Kal. He’s a lot bigger than me, that’s the first thing I noticed about him. He was doing pushups when I got into the cell. The second thing I noticed was his glasses, I’ve never seen glasses like that before. The lenses were perfect circles only the size of quarters and the black frames were curled like the head of a fiddle on the outer side of the lenses and then only held the lenses on the bottom half of them. If he hadn’t been doing pushups when I entered I would definitely have noticed that first, it was off putting seeing this big muscular man with these small quirky glasses. If you had described those glasses to me and then asked me to describe the kind of man I’d expect to be behind them I’d have said some skinny nerdy guy with his nose buried in a comic book and badly groomed facial hair. Not this huge clean shaven guy with a crew cut and veins in his biceps thick as twizzlers. He didn’t say anything to me, he just looked at me and gave a smile. A smile too big and held for too long.

He scares me.