Time You Genius You

Give credit where credit is due

Time you genius you.

None carve as masterfully as you.

And she, she fears time ahead.

How it promises to tug, pull, and crease

Slowly unfolding her youth.

She doesn’t know my eagerness,

To see those same effects

See the whole canvas stretched.

I long to see the way

That she unfurls

Day after day.

As water smooths out stone

So time erodes her face,

A slowly chiseled beauty.

As the ax must blow by blow

Slowly strip away,

The fibers from one another.

So I anxiously await

The sands of time

Etching her away.

Crows feet will appear

The years will dig trenches

In the softness of her face.

I don’t believe in evolution

But her beauty does evolve,

A process of natural seduction.

She enchants me without trying,

As time goes marching by

I’ll orbit her still.

The more that’s scuffed away

Cut or split right off

To make way for something better.

Time you genius you

Master of shape

And all things exquisite.

You will scrub away her youth

Unravel her naivete

Leaving wisdom engraved.

Her body swelled and stretched

With babes not once but twice,

Lasting marks of conquest.

She fought to create,

To be the river’s mouth

For life itself to dawn.

Strip it all away,

This current face of hers,

What are you hiding?

A gift with one million layers,

That unwrap day by day,

No shortcuts.

The crescendo of her beauty

Will take many moons to reach,

I await that goddess truly.

Excess must be shed

To reach the final gem

I’ll hold her against the blows.

If time should bring her pain,

It’s no surprise but all the same

I will crouch down beside her.

With creaky knees and hazy eyes

A foggy mind and weakening spine,

I’ll crouch down to kiss it better.

If time should bring her grief

As part of this descaling,

I’ll be there.

Soak me through with tears

So they eat through me too,

We’ll ferment together.

I only wish to love her

Half as well as time,

Every fold and curve

Marked by its caress.

– Vagabond Prophet

Gesticulation Tower

Pinstriped in the front standing

Just a little higher than everybody,

Our attention you’re demanding.

I’ve got to say you look smug,

Do you really believe

This’ll fit beneath a rug?

You’ll come falling down I say

Can’t say when,

But there’ll come a day.

Like Genghis Khan

Realizing defeat

Woebegone.

You’ll lose all your power

That you’ve clung to

In your gesticulation tower.

– Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth                                January 2nd 2018

    Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

    I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

    I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

vagabondprophet:

The sun comes over the hills, carving the entire skyline in an instant with artists precision.

Unreasonable faith says it will be the same as yesterday.

I believe it too.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Why should the past ensure the future?

All this wrestles uneasily, in my bones creating doubt.

Yet the sky remains the same.

Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Heart on My Sleeve?

I wanted to put my heart

On the cuff of my sleeve,

But there wasn’t one.

I’ve no shirt today,

No sleeves to be found

How will you read me plain?

Here take my heart

I’ll let you keep it

Please hold it true.

Cherish it with joy

Keep it safe,

Put it in your pocket.

And if you say

“I’ve no pocket,

Or even pants to speak of.”

Then hold it in your mind,

As naked both of us,

Are already one.

– Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Mirror Me

Have you been mixing

Pain and pleasure,

And calling it treasure?

You’re better than that,

Let’s link up the yoke

Before you start to choke.

One step at a time,

That’s it mirror me

Until you can follow me.

What do you need?

I’ll give it gladly

I love you madly.

Let’s get you free

Of those rusty fetters,

And the greedy debtors.

You’re mine now not theres.

So stop mixing pain with pleasure

And calling it treasure.

– Vagabond Prophet

Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth January 2nd 2018

Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

vagabondprophet:

Mirror Me

Have you been mixing

Pain and pleasure,

And calling it treasure?

You’re better than that,

Let’s link up the yoke

Before you start to choke.

One step at a time,

That’s it mirror me

Until you can follow me.

What do you need?

I’ll give it gladly

I love you madly.

Let’s get you free

Of those rusty fetters,

And the greedy debtors.

You’re mine now not theres.

So stop mixing pain with pleasure

And calling it treasure.

– Vagabond Prophet

Mirror Me

Have you been mixing

Pain and pleasure,

And calling it treasure?

You’re better than that,

Let’s link up the yoke

Before you start to choke.

One step at a time,

That’s it mirror me

Until you can follow me.

What do you need?

I’ll give it gladly

I love you madly.

Let’s get you free

Of those rusty fetters,

And the greedy debtors.

You’re mine now not theres.

So stop mixing pain with pleasure

And calling it treasure.

– Vagabond Prophet

Solitary Refinement Chapter 17

Dear Joshua December 20th 2017

Okay that makes sense that you think I should tell a guard or warden about the threatening note on my pillow and the fact I was assaulted. Except that a guard purposely turned his back on the incident and he’s not the only guard that is chummy with Trevor so I have no idea if I can trust any of them. So if I go make a report to a guard this could get a whole lot worse really fast. Try again, thanks though. Ugh I need to think about something else.

Are you enjoying the snow this year? Usually I love it, sliding around in the car and sledding with the kids and having snowball fights. So much fun, totally worth freezing my hands off working outside. This year all I can think of is how I’m not going to be with my family at Christmas. They’ll hang stockings and have a tree by now, lights will be all over the place and all the pillows in the house will have red and green covers now. Here nothing really changes, it’s just colder than usual that’s all. Once in awhile I see a guard yell, “ho ho ho!” before smacking an inmate with his baton for stepping out of line. Not exactly what I picture when I think of Christmas.

Trevor has had me doing some things I really don’t like but I don’t really feel like I have a choice. Yesterday he told me he wanted some packets of peanut butter from the kitchen right before I went to my cooking class. I guess it’s not a big deal it’s just peanut butter but I just am so worried about anything he asks me to do now, I don’t know what he’s up to. All I do know is I don’t want to be on his bad side.

Have you ever been in a situation as tight as this before? Where your stuck between two evils trying to appease both and not even sure which one is worse? I barely sleep at all now I’m so freaking stressed. Most of the time my eyes are bloodshot and I’m all sweaty. Trevor asks me what’s wrong and I tell him nothing. I feel so alone, so lost at sea surrounded by circling sharks. Kal is still giggling in his sleep and staring at me whenever I’m not around people. He licks his lips a lot, they’re cracked and bleeding now but he doesn’t seem to care. Sometimes he leaves me notes on my pillow that just say, “sleep tight.” What the hell am I supposed to do with that? How can I ignore that giggle, and that stare with his weird glasses and his great big bleeding grin?

He still hasn’t touched me or hit me or even spoken to me, I think that’s because of my relationship with Trevor but I just don’t know if he’ll soon have me doing more than stealing peanut butter. Peanut butter seems like such a random thing, what could he need it for and why from me? He’s friends with kitchen staff why not just ask them. Maybe it’s better if I don’t ask those kinds of questions it’s not like I actually have a choice in whether or not I listen to what he asks of me.

Also I did read that suggestion of yours in your last letter and no dude just no. I can’t divorce Liz I don’t even know why you would ask that! What the hell is wrong with you? Yes I’m upset that I don’t get to see my kids and that she won’t communicate with me at all but she’s upset because of the situation I put us in. I can’t do that to her or Alister or Nina, and I don’t want to do that to myself. Damn it dude she’s my wife and I love her! What explanation do I need past that?! Vow’s, I made vow’s doesn’t that matter? I know what you’re going to say and no she wouldn’t cheat on me just because I’m gone, she rarely had sex with me so why would she go seeking it out with some random person. Screw you man.