Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth                                January 2nd 2018

    Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

    I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

    I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

Corrugated

Have you ever met

Someone so dishonest,

That there lies must be fabricated?

Not imagined,

But built,

Out of real material.

Corrugated words,

Folded back,

Against one another.

Hoping they can bare

The weight of their

Collective despair.

– Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth                                January 2nd 2018

    Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

    I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

    I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

vagabondprophet:

Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth                                January 2nd 2018

    Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

    I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

    I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

vagabondprophet:

The sun comes over the hills, carving the entire skyline in an instant with artists precision.

Unreasonable faith says it will be the same as yesterday.

I believe it too.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Why should the past ensure the future?

All this wrestles uneasily, in my bones creating doubt.

Yet the sky remains the same.

Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Heart on My Sleeve?

I wanted to put my heart

On the cuff of my sleeve,

But there wasn’t one.

I’ve no shirt today,

No sleeves to be found

How will you read me plain?

Here take my heart

I’ll let you keep it

Please hold it true.

Cherish it with joy

Keep it safe,

Put it in your pocket.

And if you say

“I’ve no pocket,

Or even pants to speak of.”

Then hold it in your mind,

As naked both of us,

Are already one.

– Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Mirror Me

Have you been mixing

Pain and pleasure,

And calling it treasure?

You’re better than that,

Let’s link up the yoke

Before you start to choke.

One step at a time,

That’s it mirror me

Until you can follow me.

What do you need?

I’ll give it gladly

I love you madly.

Let’s get you free

Of those rusty fetters,

And the greedy debtors.

You’re mine now not theres.

So stop mixing pain with pleasure

And calling it treasure.

– Vagabond Prophet

Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth January 2nd 2018

Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

vagabondprophet:

Mirror Me

Have you been mixing

Pain and pleasure,

And calling it treasure?

You’re better than that,

Let’s link up the yoke

Before you start to choke.

One step at a time,

That’s it mirror me

Until you can follow me.

What do you need?

I’ll give it gladly

I love you madly.

Let’s get you free

Of those rusty fetters,

And the greedy debtors.

You’re mine now not theres.

So stop mixing pain with pleasure

And calling it treasure.

– Vagabond Prophet

Mirror Me

Have you been mixing

Pain and pleasure,

And calling it treasure?

You’re better than that,

Let’s link up the yoke

Before you start to choke.

One step at a time,

That’s it mirror me

Until you can follow me.

What do you need?

I’ll give it gladly

I love you madly.

Let’s get you free

Of those rusty fetters,

And the greedy debtors.

You’re mine now not theres.

So stop mixing pain with pleasure

And calling it treasure.

– Vagabond Prophet