Tag: spilled writing

Solitary Refinement Chapter 27

Dear Joshua                 April 20th 2018

Woke up this morning and saw the cave in my eyes. Do you remember that cave in the forest I told you I was scared of? I just get the feeling that the blacks of my eyes in the mirror look like the entrance to that place. It’s weird I know but I get really freaked out looking into the mirror. Especially today of all days, after a night like last.

I heard Kal speak finally. His voice was surprisingly high, and it bothered me all the more. Just like how his glasses didn’t seem to fit the rest of him his voice was the same. Like he’s some sort of combination of characteristics designed to make me uneasy.

“It’s cold tonight, I’m going to come up to your bed for some warmth.” He said it so matter of factly, not threatening or with his voice raised at all. I tried to tell a guard like you’ve been suggesting all along but he just told me to get to bed, didn’t really listen at all. Then it was lights out. About thirty minutes after the lights shut off and I’d started to hear snores coming from around the cell block, I heard the creak of Kal climbing the bunk. I had my knife in hand and swung it at him. I missed but he saw the glint of the blade in the moonlight coming in through the window. He simply climbed back down and got into his bed.

Then, once he was settled he whispered loud enough only for me to hear, “I’m going to get you, you know. That broken little knife won’t keep you safe long. I’m going to gag you and do what I want, you can’t stop me and you know it. Nobody will hear your screaming.”

Joshua what can I do? The guards have already shown they don’t really care. So who is there to trust that can help me? Trevor can protect me in the day, but after lights out and we all need to be in bed? I don’t need to be indebted to him anymore than I am already anyways. It may just come to what I feared. I know I swung at him today but I think even I knew I wouldn’t really hurt him, I just was hoping it would make him think twice. Seems it’s just made him enraged. I may have to really do it, I might have to really kill him.

Please tell me you see a way out of this.

A.N. There’s not very many chapters left in this. It’s been a journey but we’re near the end. I’d love some feedback or reviews. My ask box is open in case you’d like to do it anonymous style.

Cleft Heart

vagabondprophet:


Early October when the bomb went off,

Tearing us apart.

A brother here, a sister there.

Scattered across the globe.

Like the shock had made

Roots suddenly disappear.

Wandering to find them again.

Something to anchor me to life,

And something to pretend

That none of this ever happened.

It was like walking under a tree

Green burning bright

Like a star in the night.

Until it drops its snow

Right down your back

And your spine inverts itself.

The snow no colder than

The snowball fight earlier.

But never expected.

I never expected any of this

I trusted you,

I loved you.

But after you left,

We didn’t talk for months.

You didn’t understand that.

How could you think,

Nothing would change between us?

When you tore my heart right out.

I was a child,

Not a liver,

I’m not that resilient!

Are you stupid?

Or can you just think

That wishfully?

Couldn’t you have thought wishfully,

About her too?

Build her up in your mind.

Something better than she was,

Instead of leaving me all alone with her,

The only boy around.

We were six!

Then just three,

Only boy was me.

Brothers dug for oil,

Money for their toil.

We all got new family.

Pretend it’s normal

This prefix ‘step’ for everybody.

A monosyllabic word for ignorance.

Did you have stinging nettles

In the corners of your mind,

Shrouding your secrets from yourself?

I didn’t know what a man was!

How could I instantly become?

I guess you didn’t know either.

I found a new father,

He’s never let me down.

He’s unshakable.

Yeah we talk now,

About the weather,

And the price of gas.

But it will never be the same,

I can’t think that wishfully.

I won’t struggle to get as close.

You used to hold me close,

Just to be near me,

I treasure the memory.

It was twelve years ago you left,

Twelve years with a cleft heart.

When you changed the definition of home.

I’m trying to be eloquent now,

But all I can think of,

Is just how much it hurt.

– Vagabond Prophet

Why I Write Vol.2

If you keep words inside

You won’t explode,

You’ll just die.

Everyone will forget you,

Just occupying a grave,

Keeping it cold for the next owner.

Worse than saying too much,

Is saying too little,

If I pontificate at exhausting length

I apologize but only a little.

One day I will die

And all that will be left

Is my words,

Passed down in words.

– Vagabond Prophet

Stat!


Hello what is your emergency?

Stickers we need stickers!

Is that all?

Yes sir, we’re right out.

So I ran across the building,

Borrowing from someone else.

Mam, I’ve got your stickers,

You should know people are dying.

Next time I’ll bring

Them oxygen masks,

You can find your own

Damn stickers.

– Vagabond Prophet

Commuting

On my walk to work,

Rain washes yesterday away,

Wash me like a fruit

Don’t let me go astray.

Cars go speeding by

I really hope they see me,

I’m ready for the day now

And this puddle is gleamy.

If the water keeps on coming

It’ll find what’s underground,

I pray it’s strength for the day

Something I’ve not yet found.

– Vagabond Prophet

Thirty Two

Thirty Two years old

And he’s really gone.

Body beautifully adorned

And underground.

What now life?

What will you do now?

Will you strike me down

Or make me endure this?

Future I can’t see

Evasive and ever changing,

The past never changes

But tortures every moment.

The present sharpens

And blunts me

In equal measure,

Useless for every task at hand.

How will I scrape

Out an existence,

If grief sands me down

To a featureless stone.

Blunt and sharp in equal measure,

Useless for every task at hand.

– Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Sleight of Hand

There’s a lot of broken people

Across the sea,

But there’s a lot broken people here too

You don’t have to go

across the sea

To be useful to me.

Don’t wait for a sign

No water divine

It’s as simple as a coat

For a shivering man

There’s no secret trick

No sleight of hand

Just a bit of bread

For an outstretched hand

All your brilliance and might

Can not win this fight

You just have to do something right

A rickety shack could he everything

To a man without a home

An old blanket could be everything

To a child with nothing but a stone

Don’t wait for a sign

No water divine

It’s as simple as a coat

For a shivering man

There’s no secret trick

No sleight of hand

Just a bit of bread

For an outstretched hand

– Vagabond Prophet

– Another song folks, let me know if you like the songs and should keep them coming.

Cleft Heart

vagabondprophet:


Early October when the bomb went off,

Tearing us apart.

A brother here, a sister there.

Scattered across the globe.

Like the shock had made

Roots suddenly disappear.

Wandering to find them again.

Something to anchor me to life,

And something to pretend

That none of this ever happened.

It was like walking under a tree

Green burning bright

Like a star in the night.

Until it drops its snow

Right down your back

And your spine inverts itself.

The snow no colder than

The snowball fight earlier.

But never expected.

I never expected any of this

I trusted you,

I loved you.

But after you left,

We didn’t talk for months.

You didn’t understand that.

How could you think,

Nothing would change between us?

When you tore my heart right out.

I was a child,

Not a liver,

I’m not that resilient!

Are you stupid?

Or can you just think

That wishfully?

Couldn’t you have thought wishfully,

About her too?

Build her up in your mind.

Something better than she was,

Instead of leaving me all alone with her,

The only boy around.

We were six!

Then just three,

Only boy was me.

Brothers dug for oil,

Money for their toil.

We all got new family.

Pretend it’s normal

This prefix ‘step’ for everybody.

A monosyllabic word for ignorance.

Did you have stinging nettles

In the corners of your mind,

Shrouding your secrets from yourself?

I didn’t know what a man was!

How could I instantly become?

I guess you didn’t know either.

I found a new father,

He’s never let me down.

He’s unshakable.

Yeah we talk now,

About the weather,

And the price of gas.

But it will never be the same,

I can’t think that wishfully.

I won’t struggle to get as close.

You used to hold me close,

Just to be near me,

I treasure the memory.

It was twelve years ago you left,

Twelve years with a cleft heart.

When you changed the definition of home.

I’m trying to be eloquent now,

But all I can think of,

Is just how much it hurt.

– Vagabond Prophet