Dearest Elizabeth June 18 2017
I hope you and the children are well. I miss you guys so much it’s painful. I still cannot believe I’m in prison. Convict, inmate, incarcerated, prisoner, criminal. I never ever thought that these words could be used to describe me.
It all sounds so fruitless to tell you now but it’s just like I said in court. I had been laid off from my job, more workers than they could afford once some of the investors pulled out of the contract. I didn’t want to come home from work early to tell you I had to look for work again, not again.
It was raining that day so I took the bus. When I was at the bus stop I was talking to a guy about how he hasn’t seen me at this time of day before because I just got fired. He was a big guy, broad shoulders, shaved head. He told me he owned a business and was actually looking for able bodied men who take directions well.
“I can do it! I’m your man, let me see it’s Friday today so I’ll get you a resume and references and meet you on Monday? Does that work for you?” I said to him.
“ That won’t be necessary, I trust your word. If you tell me you’re solid I’ll believe you. Just don’t let me down.” He replied.
That bastard! He was so friendly, so kind. You always said I was too trusting of people and I should have listened to you. What was I thinking! Getting hired at a bus stop without any kind of interview or anything. I should have smelled the bull shit right away but I couldn’t, all I could think was how I wouldn’t have to tell you I’d lost my job.
I was so happy. I’d been saved. After one day “working” with this man I find myself slammed in jail, the court, and now here. All so fast.
Day one he just told me that we were just picking up some cash from somebody who owed him on the way to the work site. So we pulled up to the back of this building and he told me to wait by the door with a bag. I just stood there waiting, totally oblivious they were robbing the place until alarms started ringing and cops showed up to cuff me. The bag I was holding had a gun in it I didn’t know about, the other guys had bolted out a different exit.
Now I have to listen to the people here drone on and on about things I really can’t care about. They keep talking about programs that they offer here. Education, skills training, that sort of thing. So many guys here haven’t even finished high school. For me though it all sounds so pointless. They keep reminding us to take our programs seriously as they prepare us for rehabilitation into society. I know how to live in society! I was real good at it too. I had a job, I paid taxes, I got educated. I was a construction worker for goodness sake I was the damn poster boy for responsible citizen. Working hard to support a family, rain or shine. Exercise in the evenings, cycling to work to reduce my carbon footprint. All the stuff these programs are supposed to prepare me for. Now I’m stuck here for five long years.
I can’t even pretend to care about how any of that matters. Right now all I can think of is how today is Father’s Day and I’m in prison. I’m going to end this letter now and go to the visiting area in case you guys decide to surprise me with a visit. It’s the only thought that’s gotten me through the day.
Sincerely,
Your Husband
Tag: writerscreed
Anonymous
In a world where there’s no such thing as anonymous
Someone is always watching,
Where can we go to have a private conversation.
Where our words can wrestle each other
And when you come out on top
I’ll have a stupid grin
Because all I ever wanted
Was for you to pin me.
My back on the ground
With nothing left to give
But my devotion.
– Vagabond Prophet
Shoulders
Everyone has a cross to bare
But you didn’t make all shoulders the same did you?
Mine are broad for a child
And slim for a man
Do you know what I mean?
I just don’t want to be alone
The only thing to save me aches me
But I’ll be saved in the end
Without anymore nails too.
You did that for me,
You carried the world on your shoulders
Those expansive masts of strength
The sails in between
Filled with our sins
To sail through death
And come out the other side
Alive enough for all of us.
– Vagabond Prophet
So much dedication to disintegration, if you put half as much into compression you’d be a diamond by now instead of this fistful of sand.
We all wonder
Why the sky is blue
But has anybody just asked it?
She’s pretty blue and might
Need someone to talk to.
Seed Pods
If there’s nothing but light
In the sunrise today
And no one to smite
When you cast your dismay.
Just toss it in the fire
Be life giving
A garden blooming with joy
Shooting out seed pods
To bring life to your neighbours.
– Vagabond Prophet
Partition
Waking up late
Running to the stop
Boldy rushing through
Thickest fog.
Crashing into the partition
Where clouds meet my own breath.
– Vagabond Prophet
That Other Co-Worker
You’re just so talkative today,
Like an aqueduct
Connected with Niagara Falls.
Overwatering everything
No longer bringing plants
The nutrition they need.
They’re just plain wet for no reason now.
– Vagabond Prophet
Peanut Butter
I was like a peanut
Stubbornly intact
When you started to cut me.
Then torn asunder
In an instant
Split wide open
Laid bare just for you.
Now you can do what you like
Making butter or milk
To have with your bread
I’ll be smoother than silk.
– Vagabond Prophet
Wolf Hunting
I heard a story once about people up north.
Where there’s long days and long winters
And the snow piles higher than houses.
They hunt wolves in winter,
Finding ways to do it safely.
Horrific and brilliant methods.
Take a knife and dip it in blood
Freeze the blood on the blade,
Do this over and over
Ten times over.
Until the blade is deep beneath a thick coat
A winter coat of deepest red.
Leave it in the open blade pointing up
Saluting the sky
Taking a bow before the grand performance
The great seduction of the beast.
Curiosity can be wonderful,
Curiosity can be devastating.
A hint on the wind
And the scent makes itself at home
Amongst happy memories
Eating dinner with family.
You come out of the trail
Seeing this tower of scarlet
Amidst this ocean of white,
You remember this shade of red.
It wasn’t the first lick that killed you
But it sealed your fate to be sure.
Those that live by the sword die by the sword
Those that thirst for blood drown in their own.
Niceties we say to excuse our guilt,
You never stood a chance against this trap
It looks like food
It smells like food
And it even tastes like food.
Your tongue swarms into every crevice
Made by the swirling vapours
Of your hot breath excited
Panting with desire and hunger.
You lick and lick and lick
And endless fountain of your favourite flavour
You denied yourself nothing.
The blood just kept coming,
First from the frozen blood
Thawed by your warmth,
But then it switched and you didn’t notice.
Did you?
Can’t pinpoint the second but sometime
Your tongue met the steel
Blood now spouting from many sources
And you swear it’s the best day you’ve ever had.
You died in a garden dyed crimson,
By the fleshy brush jutting forth
From your strong jaws
Bathed in your own paint.
I just listened to the story,
Dumbstruck.
I’ve never understood
A wild animal better than now,
I’ve been betrayed
By my longings too.
Curiosity can be wonderful,
Curiosity can be devastating.
– Vagabond Prophet