mildreflections:

Fruits of the Spirit #5

Self-Control as defined by the poetic dictionary:

To take a breath and count to ten, dissolving vehemence without spiting venom. To hold your ground and be the bigger man, even if your world is in mayhem and the frenzy overwhelms.  

Other definitions include:

· To want patiently, never forcing or pushing for things forbidden.

·  Never crossing the line between desire and greed, knowing the worth of               morals over ambition.

·  Letting ripples of stones gently pass, finding stillness soon enough.

Synonyms Include:

·  Patience

·  Calm

·   Balanced

Antonyms Include:

·  Hot headed

·  Reckless

·  Careless

Self- control is to love cookies but never finish the box, always keeping something for the rest of us.

                                            -Mild Reflections

Pleased to be working with @vagabondprophet. Thank you for bearing with my delay.  

I like this a lot, beyond pleased to be collaborating with you on this, I can’t think of anybody I’d rather tackle this with. Check this blog out people it’s amazing.

Solitary Refinement Chapter 29

vagabondprophet:

Dear Joshua     April 26th 2018

It’s official I’m the worst father ever. Alister’s birthday was two months ago and I forgot! I was so busy looking over my shoulder and worried about hidden intentions from every face I pass I forgot my own sons birthday! Can you believe that? I have so much credit from work now I could have gotten him a whole stack of books, if Liz would let him have it of course. I feel like such shit that I did that, I’ve been sweating every minute of every day on account of the fear I feel, like it’s in my blood, or in my eyes. That cave entrance again, every mirror I look at. Everything I’ve been going through, all the weight I’ve lost and how scrawny and pale and bloodshot I’ve become doesn’t excuse this. What can I do now though, hope Alister forgives me? I don’t doubt he will, he knows by now I’m not reachable to him. As far as hoping Liz forgives me for forgetting it, I guess I can just add it to the damn pile of things I hope she one day forgives me for.

At least I’m still alive, I haven’t slept a wink since the night he first came at me. Every day at breakfast lunch and dinner he sits across from me now. If I get up to move he just follows. He looks me straight in the eyes as he eats his food. He ends every such time with a single word, “Tonight.”

Tonight?! Tonight what? Like I don’t know. He’s been doing this for a week, knowing I’m not sleeping. Sadistic bastard just wants to see me squirm. The things I’ve been brainstorming are insane, different ways to kill someone with a knife. I swiped another one from the kitchen. I didn’t bother with a broken one but rather a nice big sharp one. I just grabbed it when the instructor wasn’t looking. I keep it under my pillow now in case Kal takes the first knife, the one he met the other night.

Trevor too, shit Trevor. Yesterday he told me he won’t be able to babysit me anymore. I ignored the offense of the statement and simply asked him why.

“I don’t want to, I just don’t want to. Protect yourself you wimp.”

And when I pleaded him to keep me safe from Kal and told him what had happened he just backhanded me hard. I’ve got a real nice bruise on my right cheek now.

Can you come visit me? I’ve noticed the weather is crazy but could you try? I saw from the yard that some trees out by the road had fallen over by the wind and that the clouds looked pretty sinister. It might be the last chance you get I have no idea what the future holds but I know the face of a friend would be a welcome site.

A.N. So close! Leave me some words please!

Solitary Refinement Chapter 29

vagabondprophet:

Dear Joshua     April 26th 2018

It’s official I’m the worst father ever. Alister’s birthday was two months ago and I forgot! I was so busy looking over my shoulder and worried about hidden intentions from every face I pass I forgot my own sons birthday! Can you believe that? I have so much credit from work now I could have gotten him a whole stack of books, if Liz would let him have it of course. I feel like such shit that I did that, I’ve been sweating every minute of every day on account of the fear I feel, like it’s in my blood, or in my eyes. That cave entrance again, every mirror I look at. Everything I’ve been going through, all the weight I’ve lost and how scrawny and pale and bloodshot I’ve become doesn’t excuse this. What can I do now though, hope Alister forgives me? I don’t doubt he will, he knows by now I’m not reachable to him. As far as hoping Liz forgives me for forgetting it, I guess I can just add it to the damn pile of things I hope she one day forgives me for.

At least I’m still alive, I haven’t slept a wink since the night he first came at me. Every day at breakfast lunch and dinner he sits across from me now. If I get up to move he just follows. He looks me straight in the eyes as he eats his food. He ends every such time with a single word, “Tonight.”

Tonight?! Tonight what? Like I don’t know. He’s been doing this for a week, knowing I’m not sleeping. Sadistic bastard just wants to see me squirm. The things I’ve been brainstorming are insane, different ways to kill someone with a knife. I swiped another one from the kitchen. I didn’t bother with a broken one but rather a nice big sharp one. I just grabbed it when the instructor wasn’t looking. I keep it under my pillow now in case Kal takes the first knife, the one he met the other night.

Trevor too, shit Trevor. Yesterday he told me he won’t be able to babysit me anymore. I ignored the offense of the statement and simply asked him why.

“I don’t want to, I just don’t want to. Protect yourself you wimp.”

And when I pleaded him to keep me safe from Kal and told him what had happened he just backhanded me hard. I’ve got a real nice bruise on my right cheek now.

Can you come visit me? I’ve noticed the weather is crazy but could you try? I saw from the yard that some trees out by the road had fallen over by the wind and that the clouds looked pretty sinister. It might be the last chance you get I have no idea what the future holds but I know the face of a friend would be a welcome site.

A.N. So close! Leave me some words please!

Solitary Refinement Chapter 29

Dear Joshua     April 26th 2018

It’s official I’m the worst father ever. Alister’s birthday was two months ago and I forgot! I was so busy looking over my shoulder and worried about hidden intentions from every face I pass I forgot my own sons birthday! Can you believe that? I have so much credit from work now I could have gotten him a whole stack of books, if Liz would let him have it of course. I feel like such shit that I did that, I’ve been sweating every minute of every day on account of the fear I feel, like it’s in my blood, or in my eyes. That cave entrance again, every mirror I look at. Everything I’ve been going through, all the weight I’ve lost and how scrawny and pale and bloodshot I’ve become doesn’t excuse this. What can I do now though, hope Alister forgives me? I don’t doubt he will, he knows by now I’m not reachable to him. As far as hoping Liz forgives me for forgetting it, I guess I can just add it to the damn pile of things I hope she one day forgives me for.

At least I’m still alive, I haven’t slept a wink since the night he first came at me. Every day at breakfast lunch and dinner he sits across from me now. If I get up to move he just follows. He looks me straight in the eyes as he eats his food. He ends every such time with a single word, “Tonight.”

Tonight?! Tonight what? Like I don’t know. He’s been doing this for a week, knowing I’m not sleeping. Sadistic bastard just wants to see me squirm. The things I’ve been brainstorming are insane, different ways to kill someone with a knife. I swiped another one from the kitchen. I didn’t bother with a broken one but rather a nice big sharp one. I just grabbed it when the instructor wasn’t looking. I keep it under my pillow now in case Kal takes the first knife, the one he met the other night.

Trevor too, shit Trevor. Yesterday he told me he won’t be able to babysit me anymore. I ignored the offense of the statement and simply asked him why.

“I don’t want to, I just don’t want to. Protect yourself you wimp.”

And when I pleaded him to keep me safe from Kal and told him what had happened he just backhanded me hard. I’ve got a real nice bruise on my right cheek now.

Can you come visit me? I’ve noticed the weather is crazy but could you try? I saw from the yard that some trees out by the road had fallen over by the wind and that the clouds looked pretty sinister. It might be the last chance you get I have no idea what the future holds but I know the face of a friend would be a welcome site.

A.N. So close! Leave me some words please!

Empty Journals

I’m not righting

About the write things

It’ll take courage

I need to dig for.

Things inside covered

Under lock and key,

I got a glimpse last week

It nearly smothered me.

Strangled, driven to tears

By the sorrow in myself.

Key broke off in the lock

No going back now.

Maybe that’s why

I’ve many empty journals,

Pages waiting to give shape

To things I’m unwilling to admit.

Stagnant water feeds nothing

I’ll never grow like this,

I’ll age in a day

An unnaturally creased child.

So please grant me bravery

To look into the mirror

And see what’s really there

Smoke pouring from a closed off room.

– Vagabond Prophet

Commuting

On my walk to work,

Rain washes yesterday away,

Wash me like a fruit

Don’t let me go astray.

Cars go speeding by

I really hope they see me,

I’m ready for the day now

And this puddle is gleamy.

If the water keeps on coming

It’ll find what’s underground,

I pray it’s strength for the day

Something I’ve not yet found.

– Vagabond Prophet

Pocket of Tears

vagabondprophet:

If you’re crying

And you can’t stop,

Follow these simple steps.

Don and button

Your least favourite coat,

Just trust me.

Catch every tear

Into a single pocket

Until it’s brimming.

Then take that pocket

Sew it shut,

If just so you can shed it.

We must unclothe

Our deepest sadness,

No one is warmed by grief.

Now burn it all

Yes the coat too,

For no one is warmed by grief.

– Vagabond Prophet

Pocket of Tears

vagabondprophet:

If you’re crying

And you can’t stop,

Follow these simple steps.

Don and button

Your least favourite coat,

Just trust me.

Catch every tear

Into a single pocket

Until it’s brimming.

Then take that pocket

Sew it shut,

If just so you can shed it.

We must unclothe

Our deepest sadness,

No one is warmed by grief.

Now burn it all

Yes the coat too,

For no one is warmed by grief.

– Vagabond Prophet

Pocket of Tears

If you’re crying

And you can’t stop,

Follow these simple steps.

Don and button

Your least favourite coat,

Just trust me.

Catch every tear

Into a single pocket

Until it’s brimming.

Then take that pocket

Sew it shut,

If just so you can shed it.

We must unclothe

Our deepest sadness,

No one is warmed by grief.

Now burn it all

Yes the coat too,

For no one is warmed by grief.

– Vagabond Prophet