Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth                                January 2nd 2018

    Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

    I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

    I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

Corrugated

Have you ever met

Someone so dishonest,

That there lies must be fabricated?

Not imagined,

But built,

Out of real material.

Corrugated words,

Folded back,

Against one another.

Hoping they can bare

The weight of their

Collective despair.

– Vagabond Prophet

Gesticulation Tower

vagabondprophet:

Pinstriped in the front standing

Just a little higher than everybody,

Our attention you’re demanding.

I’ve got to say you look smug,

Do you really believe

This’ll fit beneath a rug?

You’ll come falling down I say

Can’t say when,

But there’ll come a day.

Like Genghis Khan

Realizing defeat

Woebegone.

You’ll lose all your power

That you’ve clung to

In your gesticulation tower.

– Vagabond Prophet

Rockets and Lullabies

vagabondprophet:

Rockets and lullabies,

Things that light the skies.

One to bring sweet dreams,

One to bring on screams.

One source of light

Has enough might

To light up the sky

Can we just try?

Can we try it once?

I’m not asking months.

In twenty four hours

We can ask the powers.

Which did you prefer?

When it did occur.

Fire and death,

Or a steady sleeping breath?

We tell children lullabies

Before we say goodbyes.

Aren’t we fighting for them?

Those green and budding stems.

Let’s preserve those thoughts,

The ones about lemons and apricots.

Not nightmares and bombs

That flatten pulses found in palms.

– Vagabond Prophet

Rockets and Lullabies

vagabondprophet:

Rockets and lullabies,

Things that light the skies.

One to bring sweet dreams,

One to bring on screams.

One source of light

Has enough might

To light up the sky

Can we just try?

Can we try it once?

I’m not asking months.

In twenty four hours

We can ask the powers.

Which did you prefer?

When it did occur.

Fire and death,

Or a steady sleeping breath?

We tell children lullabies

Before we say goodbyes.

Aren’t we fighting for them?

Those green and budding stems.

Let’s preserve those thoughts,

The ones about lemons and apricots.

Not nightmares and bombs

That flatten pulses found in palms.

– Vagabond Prophet

Gesticulation Tower

vagabondprophet:

Pinstriped in the front standing

Just a little higher than everybody,

Our attention you’re demanding.

I’ve got to say you look smug,

Do you really believe

This’ll fit beneath a rug?

You’ll come falling down I say

Can’t say when,

But there’ll come a day.

Like Genghis Khan

Realizing defeat

Woebegone.

You’ll lose all your power

That you’ve clung to

In your gesticulation tower.

– Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth                                January 2nd 2018

    Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

    I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

    I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.

Rockets and Lullabies

Rockets and lullabies,

Things that light the skies.

One to bring sweet dreams,

One to bring on screams.

One source of light

Has enough might

To light up the sky

Can we just try?

Can we try it once?

I’m not asking months.

In twenty four hours

We can ask the powers.

Which did you prefer?

When it did occur.

Fire and death,

Or a steady sleeping breath?

We tell children lullabies

Before we say goodbyes.

Aren’t we fighting for them?

Those green and budding stems.

Let’s preserve those thoughts,

The ones about lemons and apricots.

Not nightmares and bombs

That flatten pulses found in palms.

– Vagabond Prophet

Gesticulation Tower

Pinstriped in the front standing

Just a little higher than everybody,

Our attention you’re demanding.

I’ve got to say you look smug,

Do you really believe

This’ll fit beneath a rug?

You’ll come falling down I say

Can’t say when,

But there’ll come a day.

Like Genghis Khan

Realizing defeat

Woebegone.

You’ll lose all your power

That you’ve clung to

In your gesticulation tower.

– Vagabond Prophet

vagabondprophet:

Solitary Refinement Chapter 18

Dearest Elizabeth                                January 2nd 2018

    Return to sender. Why are you doing this? You realize you’re not just hurting me but the kids too right? What am I supposed to with colouring books in prison? People already think I’m weird. I’m going to have to throw this stuff in the trash. The stuff I worked to get Alister and Nina for Christmas, in the garbage… This sucks, I’m trying my best from in here to still contribute in some way to their lives, I can’t do much but try to send things if you won’t bring them to visit me. Can’t you see that? Do the kids ask about me? What do they say about me? What does Alister tell his friends at school about why his dad never comes to pick him up at school?

    I got really mad at Joshua recently for suggesting that you would use the opportunity of my absence to cheat on me. Can you believe that? I got so mad at him, I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m pretty mad at him right now, I don’t really want to talk to him for a while and you don’t want to talk to me so I guess nobody will hear from me for a while then.

    I’m going to get a journal, writing words down onto paper is the only thing I come even close to enjoying here. Talking through a pen onto the blank paper, it feels like these pages are the only things listening to me and receptive to my thoughts and feelings and willing to hold them for me. The blank canvas of white paper as it holds onto black ink doesn’t judge me or look for weakness the way the people here do.

    Sorry, I kind of rambled on there, like I said I’ll get a journal for my random thoughts so I won’t have to bother anybody for a while since you’re not talking to me and I don’t want to talk to Josh right now.

Sincerely,

Your husband.